You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
