just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
