i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
