i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
