I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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