I wish I could teleport
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
