i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
