he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
