I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
