Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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