Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
