marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
