Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
