i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
