seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize