I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
