Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize