Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize