dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
