Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
