Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
