I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
