just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
