Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
