Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
