You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
