apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
