He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
