She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Boobs are out for the taking
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
