I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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