Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
