so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
