Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
