My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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