I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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