If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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