Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize