she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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