I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I checked into jail on foursquare
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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