I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
