She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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