When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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