East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
