And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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