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is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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