Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
