Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
