remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you made out with another girl for some wings
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
