so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
