its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
