Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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