Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize