i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
