My sheets look like a crime scene.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
