i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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