You really coming over, don't trick.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
