Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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